A little "Libby Love"

I am already four months pregnant. This pregnancy has gone by much more quickly. I have to believe that the reason this is going by more quickly is because I have Libby to keep me preoccupied! She is very opinionated and wants a say regarding naming the baby. She is quick to tell us what names that she likes and the ones that she doesn't like! She simply tells us, "Mommy, that is NOT a pretty name for my baby!" We are trying to keep her involved, however, naming the Baby Cinderella Belle is NOT an option! :)

Last week we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner with my mom. Mom and I both had to run to the bathroom, and we brought Libby with us. She refused to go into either of the stalls, so she waited by the sink for me to finish. I heard her humming and singing with her stuffed animal until she finally said, "Um...does anybody even realize that I am probably not old enough to be in here by MYSELF??!!" Mom and I both died laughing.

My small group went to see the movie COURAGEOUS last night. I have to admit that it was a total tearjerker! The movie was absolutely amazing and the message was beautifully conveyed by the story. I believe we all went home and hugged our babies a little bit tighter afterwards. The movie has really caused me to reevaluate my perspective on parenting. How many times has Libby begged me to play with her or sing to her, and I am elbow deep in cooking or laundry, and I make her wait. One day, Libby is gonna be too old to play with me and I am gonna miss those moments. I need to cherish them...they are passing way too quickly. I can't get those moments back...so, next time my princess asks me to dance, you better believe I am gonna let her step all over my toes!

My divas...

So, it's been awhile since my last blog. I have had A LOT going on in my wild and crazy life. Most importantly, Brad and I are beyond excited to report that we are finally expecting again! Our second little princess should be here the end of March. Libby has been praying every night for a baby sister for quite some time, so it should have come as no surprise to us that this little Pullen is another darling diva! My poor father and husband...they can't even BUY a little boy ;)We are all incredibly excited and blessed to have the newest member to join our family. Of course, considering that Miss Libby already has demonstrated quite the diva behavior, we can't wait to see what the little one is like! Speaking of Miss Libby's diva behavior...

A few weeks ago, Libby's teacher was delighted to share with me a Miss Libby story that had them laughing all day. Apparently, Libby was playing dolls with another little friend and Libby was nice enough to share her doll with her friend. Her friend, Gracie, told Libby,"Thank you for sharing with me". Libby promptly corrected her, "No, Gracie, you say, 'Why thank you,YOUR MAJESTY!"

A few weeks later, my mom had to bring a new pair of shoes to Libby at school. When she arrived, the teacher told my mom, "Libby tells us she is soo excited about the wedding." My mom assumed they were referring to Amanda's upcoming nuptials, nodded and smiled, "We are all so happy". The teacher then continued to say, "Well, we thought her parent's were already married, but Libby tells us she is so excited that her daddy is finally marrying her mommy becuase she is pregnant!" At this point, my mom's jaw dropped and she began to explain that I have been married to Libby's father for several years now... :)I then had to come home and show Libby photos from our wedding, which occurred SEVEN years ago.

So, the Pullens are well and excited about the next chapter of our story. Stay tuned, I am sure Libby has a few more "tricks" up her sleeve...

She does have a sweet side :)

Last night, Libby and I were watching Toy Story 3 before bed. She loves the movie and has seen it MULTIPLE times. At the end of the movie, the antagonist, Lotso Bear, was in a scene where he was being particularly "naughty" to the other toys. Libby was watching intently, when she looked up and said, "You know what mommy? I think Lotso is a bully! And it's really not nice to be a bully." It was very sweet to realize that my baby does understand the concept of "being a bully" and recognizes that it's not a desirable trait. Having said this, I was informed last week that she and a friend of hers at school, were put in time out after they were laughing at the kids who were in time out. I guess you can't win them all!

We also bought Libby a new poodle to love and dote on. Brad and I were a bit hesitant at bringing a new dog into the family, but Libby has been begging for one. She loves our little dachshund, Lilly, but Lilly is getting up there in age and doesn't play like she used to. There are many evenings when Libby will throw balls or toys to Lilly, while she is content to lay on the couch and sleep. I have to admit, she is pretty good with the puppy. We are teaching her to carry it, feed her, take her outside and bathe her. The little puppy is pretty darn cute and follows her around lovingly. The poodle, Zoe, has kept us up the past few nights. I am hoping that the two of will become fast friends and she will provide years of companionship for my little princess.

My little princess

So, I have officially become obsessed with trying to get pregnant with baby #2. I don't like it. I am ready to be pregnant, have my last baby and get on with my life. I feel like I am missing out on so much, because I am so focused on getting pregnant again. However, until I have my baby in my arms, I don't feel like I will be "at peace". So, until then, we wait.

Today, was "tacky day" at Libby's school. This morning, I asked her what she wanted to wear. She looked at me very seriously and said, "Mommy, I'm skinny, and I don't DO tacky. I would rather dress like a princess." So, off she went in search of a "cute" dress to wear with her gold jeweled sandals. What am I going to do with her? She is so incredibly delightful and spoiled rotten :)

Blessings....

I am so excited that I am about to burst!!! Over the past several weeks, Brad and I have been trying to save and cut corners in order to proceed with the next step in our fertility journey. We know that after my laparoscopy, our next few months are the absolute best chance we have at getting pregnant. So, we want to make the most of our time! We are seeking a second opinion regarding where we go from this point on. I am not sure how much I am gonna be telling people about where we go from here.

Regardless...

Last night, Brad and I recieved the "Fleece" we have been praying for! Our current mortgage is a huge burden on us. Our house payment is astronomical!! It's very taxing and it's a burden we should not have taken on four years ago. We should have planned and purchased a smaller home with a smaller mortgage... So,for the past year and a half we have been trying to remodify our mortgage, lower our interest rate, whatever we can do to lower our payment. It's been a huge hassle! Yesterday, Brad received the news that our interest rate has been dropped to 2.5%. This saves us over $500 a month!! $500!! I am so incredibly excited, I am about to burst with joy at this point. I know that this is the sign we have been praying for. The money we have been waiting for to put towards our dream baby! Thank you GOD!!

My pride and joy...

So, last week while I was preparing for my surgery, I had a very interesting talk with my sweet little one. She was in the bathroom, sitting on the potty (her best thinking spot!) when she looked up and said,"Mommy? When is my baby coming home?"

Oh, brother! I calmly replied,"Well, sweetie, looks like it's gonna be awhile before we get to bring home a baby."

She thought for another moment and said,"Well, I sink (think) that the baby can have my blue room (her playroom) to sleep in."

"Oh, baby, that would be very sweet of you."

She thought for another moment..."Mommy?"

"Yes, Lib..."

"Can you teach me how to scratch backs?"

"What Lib?"

"You, know, I need you to teach me how to scratch backs. I know how to rub backs, but if I am gonna get a baby, I need to learn how to scratch backs too. That's what babies like."

At this point, I was tearing up a bit, "Of course, sweetie. I will definitely teach you how to scratch backs."

How amazing is my sweet little one?

My due date

It would be wrong of me not to acknowledge this day. Today was then due date of our baby #2. If I ignore this day, then I am ignoring the existence of our second pregnancy. I know many people choose not to even acknowledge an early pregnancy loss... however, I have read enough scriptures to completely believe that even God recognizes souls while they are still being formed in the "most secret place". I am sad today. It would be inconceivable to try to act tough and "brush it off" today. Even though I will never get to meet my precious little one, I take comfort in knowing that he is waiting to meet me one day.

I can't pretend to be okay today. I can't pretend to understand why I wasn't allowed to keep my baby. I can't pretend that its fair, because its not fair. It's not fair that I lost my baby, and meanwhile, there are millions of babies that are aborted to mothers who are undeserving of the precious gift they have been given. I take comfort in my loved ones and the baby I do have, but it doesn't make me mourn my loss any less. That would be wrong and unfair to my second baby. I deserve the opportunity to mourn...its an emotion and well documented in Scriptures. I will never be over the loss. I'm sorry, its just not gonna happen.